With all the hype recently ridiculing the poor concrete-based infrastructure of the United Kingdom, it is a brilliant time to review the Concrete Society Awards 2023 shortlist. With some rock-solid entries coming from hit cities on the list this year it is sure to have you demolishing your countryside holiday plans. As we all know there can only be one outright winner, but 4 concretions can get some constructive feedback from the judges in the form of a commendation.

1 New Park Square, Edinburgh

Nominated by Allford Hall Monaghan Morris (who also designed the building), this wondrous cuboid from Scotland kicks off the shortlist. Featuring some impressive column work around the base, 1 New Park Square houses 4 storeys of office space, with a 200-seat conference centre beneath alongside a hip café and restaurant. Workers can fight off the monday blues with the natural light let in by their floor-to-ceiling windows on lining every (vertical!) surface. With some great public transport connections as well as being practically seated on the M8 motorway for quick getaways this is a prime location for stopping on your holiday to set up a business and rent an office space.

As always, I like to judge my concrete-based structures on the 3 most important factors: looks, size proportional to use case, and looks. With some clean edges and overhangs hitting it out of the (1 New) Park it is quite a beauty to lay eyes on, and housing that many offices will be great for those who need more money. I would probably rate this one a fairly solid 8 for looks and a 6 for size - while featuring a substantial number of offices the perfectly cubic structure begs the question - what if they put a second one on top?

Total - 18 points

10 Lewis Cubitt Square, Kings Cross

Another clanger from Allford Hall Monaghan Morris (nomination and design), 10 Lewis Cubitt Square has a deep façade of honed, pre-cast concrete elements to make it slide right into its surroundings while still standing out. Another mixed-use-but-predominantly-office-space building, it sits in Kings Cross a stone's throw (by a particularly strong stone-thrower) from the famous train station. A lovely view of one of those cylindrical girder things you see around sometimes out of one side, and a series of frankly underwhelming garden chairs and tables out the other side. Very structurally sound, there is even a 600-seat theatre in the basement, so office workers can be reminded of their lack of free time every time they enter the building.

Moving onwards to scoring, 10 Lewis Cubitt Square is quite a looker. With many ledges to eliminate the need for a conventional fire escape and the potential for some greenery, it can brighten up the lowest layer of the London skyline to anyone walking in between it and the other similarly-tall buildings immediately nearby. One major caveat, however, is the colour. Where's the grey? The concrete paradise they are moving towards is far too bright for my tastes. I will give it a 6 for size and a 7 for looks - I wouldn't mind taking a piece home but I wouldn't take the whole thing.

Total - 15 points

DAMAC Tower, Nine Elms, London

A structurally sound entry from DAMAC Properties, nominated by WSP UK, this is the first entry on the shortlist so far to have a Wikipedia article within the first few Google results. With an apartment looking to set you back at least 2.8 million Emirati Dirhams, you are rewarded with a view all the way down the Thames if you're high enough, and a room designed by Donatello from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (who knew he was still active?). This entry is also secretly 2 towers, with a combined 73 storeys of offices, flats, and shops, allowing for twice the fun.

The looks are reminiscent of a tower I made out of lego when I was 3 years old, so obviously scores highly. It is also substantial in height, although the second tower is shorter, which takes away from the score. It does appear to be made substantially of glass, which takes away from the glory of the concrete somewhat. Not particularly notable, but it suffers from its proximity to other, more interesting buildings, like the Costa down the road. 8 points for looks and 8 for size.

Total - 19 points

London Square, Bermondsey

London Square, Bermondsey, not to be confused with it's rival Bermondsey Square, London, is a series of apartments in the renovated Branston Pickle Factory. Elusive on the facts, but with a pretty (if brick-looking) style. Bermondsey is close enough to the cool parts of London to score some locationary points, and the surrounding area is full of amenities, making it a fairly solid foundation to start a life in the city centre. However the bars on the windows and lack of much character do give it somewhat of a prison vibe.

Despite it lacking in colour and shape compared to other entries in the shortlist being due to the impressive refurbishment of the pickle factory, it will still lose points, as our Lord is merciless. It is relatively uninteresting so I am struggling to think of anything but to dish it out a 5 for looks and a 5 for size.

Total - 12 points

Newlyn Coastal Research & Development, Penzance

Bored of mere human amenities, the next shortlisted Concrete Couture attempts to bring the joy of the concrete jungle to the wildlife of Newlyn. Described as "a pile of washing machines dumped in the ocean", these hefty chunks aim to boost the biodiversity and functionality of regular coastal defences. Featuring moon-rune looking designs to retain more water and provide more shelter for fauna, these cubic joys were engineered with pH similar to seawater to trick them into trusting it even faster. A nice variety of colour and design, and made using low-carbon concrete mixes, these blocks are building a more eco-friendly future for all of us.

It could just be the colour palette in Newlyn but every picture seems to be as grey as concrete already. Therefore it is a joy that on top of the wonderful whites of the crete we know and love the shades of algae worn down upon them gives it a more weathered look lacking in other shortlisted entries, and earning them an 8 for the look factor. Let down by size, but the potential for growth is limitless, so it will only be knocked down to 6. Soon every coast could feature a pile of washing machines for children to injure themselves climbing. I feel like I've locked myself too hard into my existing points scheme, so I will now be awarding bonus points for off-menu features, of which this feature earns 3.

Total - 20 points

Osiers Road, Wandsworth

A visually interesting entry to the shortlist, this trilogy of towers makes up a set of residential and commercial space in Wandsworth, featuring a range of colours, floor to ceiling windows, and some lovely little balconies to admire the the other stacks of concrete from. The bricks merely a façade, the structure of this hunk is reinforced concrete from the ground up. With some little baby gardens to provide some greenery as well these luxurious bunkers could be a pleasant place to live.

Different towers, different sizes, different designs, these buildings do pop along the Wandsworth Skyline, earning a looks rating of an 8, and putting up a sizeable effort on the size front, standing tall amongst their brethren, it can earn an 8 for size too.

Total - 19 points

Plot H7 Elephant Park, Elephant & Castle

With some interesting extrusions, Plot H7 in Elephant and Castle is the final phase of the Elephant Park Masterplan, bringing over 400 apartments and integrated amenities to the fine folk of SE1. Despite the very sad lack of elephants or castles, the plot boasts apartments that don't just meet the minimum standards for livable spaces but even slightly exceeding them. The rainbow of grey across the perimeter contrasting nicely with the cafés down below allows the Elephant and Castle skyline to thrive.

Ultimately, it is the lack of elephants or castles that brings it down. While more stylish than some other entries on the shortlist, it cannot score higher than a 7 for looks due to the disappointment going from name to picture. Like an elephants trunk stretching to the sky however, the size of it is a wonder, allowing it to bank some 9 points for size.

Total - 18 points

Royal College of Surgeons, Lincoln Inn Fields, London

Next up on the list is the headquarters of the Royal College of Surgeons in Lincoln Inn Fields. A building that visually has it all - circular windows, rectangular windows, square windows, and even Latin embossed across the front. A historical entry to the concrete records, the building was hit by explosives during WW2, but to this day still provides training for surgeons and dentists-to-be. A much less minimalist entry to the shortlist, and boasting a much more unique array of facilities, this college rises above the mix with it's plethora of features.

While only really one colour, this surgeon's citadel is an eye-catching feat nonetheless. Almost a perfect 10 for looks, however I can't read Latin. The size is deceptive, described as a sprawling warren of corridors (at least in the past), making it hard to imagine the scale from just a front view, so it will be awarded a 7 for size.

Total - 19 points

The Featherstone Building, Old Street, London

With the coolest domain name on the shortlist, The Featherstone Building(.london) brings a little bit of funk to the façade on Old Street, with some curvy window frames and cool looking overhangs. Boasting exposed concrete ceilings and openable windows, this is certainly a building proud of its foundations. Another office building, it has a view of the iconic White Collar Factory campus, and from the other side the luxurious Bunhill fields. The concrete in this building was so good it was nominated by steel company Heyne Tillett Steel, quoted as saying "we wish there were more metal but we can't deny they made the right choices here".

Getting some extra style points from the overhang, it still lags behind other entries on the list on the look factor for the building itself, however the small embellishments coupled with the views out the (openable!) windows means this comes rocking into the tier list with 8 points. At a fairly sizeable 11 floors of space, and 3m floor- to-ceiling on each of those, the spacious feeling provided inside gives it a size score of 8 points too.

Total - 19

The Salvation Army New THQ, Denmark Hill, London

Coming in next on the shortlist is the hot new HQ for the Salvation Army, in Denmark Hill, London. It marks a significant shift in the way they manage their workers, allowing 3 separate territorial offices can be sold and repurposed, and embracing to the post-pandemic working from home paradigm taken up by many workers. Re-using rubble, concrete and bricks from the previous buildings on the site, this new build is reflective of the charitable nature of the organisation, as well as planting trees to replace those used in construction. An interesting nomination given their choice to brag about their reduced concrete usage but I can respect efficiency in design.

As it has been purpose-built for the Salvation Army it is also sporting some decorations, such as the three-storey crosses on some of the extrusions. A very visually interesting building, it scores a 9 for looks, and, despite downsizing, will provide a strong base for the headquarters of the organisation going forward, so scores an 8 for size.

Total - 20 points

Tower Hamlets Town Hall, London

The only entry cool enough to double as a timepiece, the final entry on the concrete awards shortlist for 2023 is the new Tower Hamlets Town Hall. Previously the Royal London Hospital building, closed in 2014, the Whitechapel structure and all its years of history have been repurposed to a new public-serving building, encouraging the community to participate in civic life and providing support for residents with event and exhibition spaces, as well as housing the councils regular affairs. Hard work has gone into preserving the historical feel of the building despite needing a lot of replacements, with much of the original structure being refurbished.

One of the most visually stunning buildings inside and out, the THTH (Tower Hamlets Town Hall) has got the widest range of features of any of the buildings on the shortlist. Round windows, arched windows, regular arches, weather vanes, the name above the entrance and of course the temporal emblem at the peak, this building shines through with it's historical design being preserved, scoring it a 9 for looks. Providing amenities, spaces for the council to work and publicly accessible meetings, and multipurpose public spaces for community use, the size of this building will also score a 9.

Total - 21 points

Final Predictions

So as the review comes to a close, I'll lay out my predictions for the overall winner in concrete excellence, as well as which I believe deserve a commendation, and apologise for forgetting to talk about the Long Curtain Moat:

Winner:

• Salvation Army HQ

Disregarding the points system entirely, the Salvation Army HQ has been well-designed for purpose, and is a somewhat unique entry among the shortlist in its use case. With efficient design to maintain ecological excellence and some architectural aestheticism this entry really lays the foundation for success.

Commendations:

• THTH (Tower Hamlets Town Hall)

While not a new building, the THTH has put some hard work into refurbishing a building that could have been lost to time.

• Newlyn Coastal Research & Development

Despite the poor aesthetic reviews from the public, the marvelous use of concrete stands it out amongst the other entries of the shortlist, and I don't think it looks that bad anyway.

• DAMAC Tower

Casting a large shadow across London, the DAMAC tower has a striking design sure to leave an impression on those who visit.

• Plot H7, Elephant Park

Despite the lack of elephants or castles, a well-designed building with a modern look that doesn't look like a single brick from a distance.

That's Conk Rete baby!